I see a lot of awesome mamas overriding their
own intuition. They are not trusting themselves to
make the good decisions that reflect their values
and their unique point of view.
Our culture has a cacophony of advice flying at us
from every point of view—and damn, can it get
complicated! As mamas, it’s often hard to hear our
own voice (especially because we are all basically
tired). It’s difficult to listen over the din of Frozen’s
“Let it Go” that’s always circulating in our heads.
There are plenty of times I’ve overridden my own
intuition, and I could really have used a few
reminders to not do it. From giving my child
general anesthesia rather than nitrous for a dental
procedure—I still feel yucky about that one—to
“trying out” a school I knew wasn’t a good fit for
my kid, I kept ignoring signs and signals that my
gut was giving me.
Here are some tips to notice what your motherly
intuition is telling you so you can recalibrate and
use your most reliable and innate gift.
Your brain feels confused.
The advice from that parenting blog or your well intentioned neighbor keeps repeating in your
head. This is because your intellect is overriding
your gut. It’s like you want to talk yourself into
something because your brain says it’s logical, but
something inside is not sitting right. Honor this
feeling—it’s you talking to you. You do not need to
rush to make decisions from a confused place!
You keep asking for opinions and
researching obsessively.
You are bleary-eyed from googling one more
perspective long after your bedtime—reading one
more blog, one more article. Another inquiry to
your friend, or conversation with the checker at
the grocery store…when will it be enough? When
you find yourself trying to get an answer from the
outside over and over again, it usually means you
should go within.
Will staying up late googling “ear tubes” again
really help you decide if you want to do the
intervention or go the natural route with your
kids’ ear infections? No. What will help is for you
to take stock of the information you’ve gleaned
and run it through your gut. Take all that chatter
and really sift through it, asking your body, “What
is the right action for me and my child?”
You’re trying to do something exactly the
way your mother/best friend/ Gwyneth
Paltrow did it.
And you’re asking yourself, “What am I doing? This
isn’t me.” From baby wearing that makes your back
hurt, to considering sleep training, to weighing
“time-in/time-out” for tantrums—we have to be
able to make our own choices. If your intuition
doesn’t vibe with what’s on Instagram, what your
playgroup moms are doing, or what is traditional
to your family, that’s totally okay. Telling yourself
that your inner guide is more important than the
outer culture is your place of power. And
remember you can always change your approach
(#myprerogative)!
You are deferring quickly to someone
else to avoid the decision.
We all give away our power from time to time, and
we all know that pit-in-the-stomach feeling when
we do it. It feels so icky, right? That feeling is there
as an innate warning system to keep us out of
danger. Today we don’t need to run from tigers
that often, but our bodily emergency alert system
is still fully functional. Slow down and give yourself
space to check in with your own point of view. Try
these statements to give yourself room to process
your next steps:
“Honey, let’s sleep on it.”
“Dad, you have a good point, and I want to think
about it more so I can make my best decision.”
“Thank you, Doctor, I’d like to consider these
options and get back to you.”
Simply hitting pause creates the opportunity for
you to get clear and step into your truth. Create
the environment for your intuition to show up.
The answer is always there, in your body and
heart. Your power is always inside you, waiting to
be heard. When you start listening within, you’re
crafting a life based on your values and what you
deeply care about. Trust your intuition. It’s a
valuable gift!
—Heidi Skye, DC
